Friday Miscellany: An Open Letter to My Cat

[naomi_jay]

Dear Fergus,

I love you a lot. I really love having you live with me now. Your happy purring warms my heart and your endless piles of ginger hair lend an extra "something" to my wardrobe. You are a lovely old cat.

However, there is an issue I feel we must address.

Midnight is not breakfast time.

2am is not breakfast time.

3.30am is not breakfast time.

4am is not breakfast time.

5am is not breakfast time.

5.05am is not breakfast time.

It's not breakfast time if I get up in the night to use the bathroom.

It's not breakfast time if I roll over in bed.

It's not breakfast time if a cat outside starts yowling.

Breakfast time is 6.45am, after my alarm goes off and before I get in the shower.

There is no second breakfast when I get out of the shower.

I appreciate that you can't tell the time but you should learn from experience. No matter how many times you wake me up in the night by sitting on my head and drooling on the pillow, it will not bring breakfast time forward.

Love,
Naomi

Comments

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I feel incredibly guilty if I kick him out, and then sit around worrying he'll run away or get lost or hurt! I can't win!