Jealous occultists! Where do I sign?

[naomi_jay]

I've discovered the paranormal romance plot generator! Guaranteed to stop me working 100% of the time. My favourites so far:

When a jealous occultist takes her lover, an elf must bargain with demons to bring her home. (This actually sounds like a reasonable PR plot.)

In a grim resort, a nervous taxi driver falls for a dark wizard. But the dark wizard is in love with an optimistic kobold. Who will he choose? (An optimistic kobold? I don't even know what that is, but surely it beats a nervous taxi driver in every fight, including those to the death.)

A whore is liquefied by a rabid elemental. Will her lover recognise her and change her back?

(Dude, she's been liquefied. I don't think you come back from that.)

In an overgrown industrial estate, a forgetful systems analyst falls for a demon killer. But the demon killer is in love with an arrogant horse. Who will he choose? (I ... what?)

Comments

[etaknosnhoj.livejournal.com]

Oh, oh! Must do this. Like, before I'm in danger of getting some actual work done.

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

The arrogant horse plot is mine! You can have the liquefied whore, though.

[etaknosnhoj.livejournal.com]

I think I wrote a liquified whore once. I know I've written a frozen-to-death one and a hacked-in-two-pieces one. Liquification can't be far behind.

[etaknosnhoj.livejournal.com]

I just got this and it made me laugh out loud for about five minutes:

He's a vengeful spirit. She's a unicorn with acne.
But her father is trying to kill him. Will they find love?

A unicorn with acne. With acne.

I have to go lie down now.

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

I got this:

A sportswoman is turned black by a strangely attractive merman.
Will her lover recognise her and change her back?

There are no words for that one...

[out-totheblack.livejournal.com]

OMG any symbolance me getting work done just ended. I might have to write one of these....just, wow.

A whore is starving
Can the love of a wolfman save her?
That just sounds like bad flash waiting to be written.

A dancer is craving blood.
Can the love of a powerful warrior save her?

When a twisted shapeshifter takes her lover, an ogre
must hide in other worlds to bring him home.

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

I'm determined to write and sell a story based on one of these scenarios!

[dwg.livejournal.com]

In an overgrown industrial estate, a forgetful systems analyst falls for a demon killer. But the demon killer is in love with an arrogant horse. Who will he choose?

The only thing running through my mind over this is, "His wife? A horse."

I need to click away from F_W.

At least there's no bartending in the dark. OR IS THERE?

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

We may never know for sure...

[dwg.livejournal.com]

These plots could also be F_W write-ups, if I think about it too much. Which I don't want to do. However, I do want to steal this one and use it somewhere:

When a devious elemental takes her lover, a djinn must commune with spirits to bring him home.

Because the idea of messing with the djinn good 'n' proper-like makes me salivate.

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

You should! I plan to write something based off one of them, if only for my own evil glee.

[dqg-neal.livejournal.com]

Will he recognize her in liquified form?

Does that require a line like one of the following?
"That bowl of water wiggles just like my woman's butt."

"I'd recognize that blue liquid anywhere. The first time I looked into her blue eyes, I felt like I was drowning."

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Lol, I can't help but think of the Futurama episode where Fry drinks the Emperor...

[molly-skye.livejournal.com]

He's a vengeful half-demon. She's a being of pure magic with bad breath.
But she is not real. Will they find love?

Umm, I love this!

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Lol, it would certainly make for some interesting sex scenes...

[shistavanenjedi.livejournal.com]

If I remember correctly, a Kobold is some kind of Celtic/Nordic imp or fairy creature made of wood. An arrogant horse? That's strange for UF, perhaps the horse in question is a shapeshifter or warehorse? (Some authors I've read have had horse/human shapeshifters, but not really as a main character.)

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

The kobold description sounds familiar, now you mention it.

Re: horse shapeshifters - I know Keri Arthur has at least one in her Riley Jenson series. Maggie Furey had a whole race of them in her Artefacts of Power quartet. You don't tend to see many non-predators as wereanimals that I can think of, though.

[blythe025.livejournal.com]

Hah! That's awesome. I'm definitely going to have to play with that. :D

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Me too. I might set a challenge and see who can write the best story, lol.

[blythe025.livejournal.com]

Oooh. That would be fun. :)

[craving-vintage.livejournal.com]

In an overgrown industrial estate, a forgetful systems analyst falls for a demon killer. But the demon killer is in love with an arrogant horse. Who will he choose? (I ... what?)

LMAO

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

I wasted so much of my afternoon playing with this, lol.

[tezmillertm.livejournal.com]

Had the horse been modest, instead of arrogant, maybe its relationship with the demon killer would be successful ;-)

A golddigger is turned into a bird. Can she convince a feral astral traveller to restore her?

Gives new meaning to the phrase "flipping the bird". I'm imagining a bird with brass knuckles on its wings. I ain't sayin' she's a golddigger... ;-)

Any chance you could convince Agent to base an anthology around these plot generated scenarios? ;-)

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Lol, I'm half-tempted to do it myself!

These discussions make my day

[(Anonymous)]

This is my creation, but it only comes to life when people like you interpret it. It's what you make of it that inspires me.

My theory is, any plot, no matter how crazy, can serve as the basis of a fantasy story. Try reversing it, and summing up the plots of a few of your favourite books, and you'll hopefully see what I mean. Still, I hope someone does the demon killer and the arrogant horse (maybe she's only a horse by day, or neither of them realise she's a horse due to a spell, or he's a horse too, or...)

I think kobolds are Germanic mine-dwelling creatures, a bit like dwarves only smaller, said to turn up where cobalt is found.

Re: These discussions make my day

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

I'm inclined to agree with your theory, and I'm definitely going to be writing something using your generator ^_^ Thanks for the entertainment and the inspiration!