Jealous occultists! Where do I sign?

[naomi_jay]

I've discovered the paranormal romance plot generator! Guaranteed to stop me working 100% of the time. My favourites so far:

When a jealous occultist takes her lover, an elf must bargain with demons to bring her home. (This actually sounds like a reasonable PR plot.)

In a grim resort, a nervous taxi driver falls for a dark wizard. But the dark wizard is in love with an optimistic kobold. Who will he choose? (An optimistic kobold? I don't even know what that is, but surely it beats a nervous taxi driver in every fight, including those to the death.)

A whore is liquefied by a rabid elemental. Will her lover recognise her and change her back?

(Dude, she's been liquefied. I don't think you come back from that.)

In an overgrown industrial estate, a forgetful systems analyst falls for a demon killer. But the demon killer is in love with an arrogant horse. Who will he choose? (I ... what?)