"Psychologically, my case is most interesting."

[naomi_jay]

So, anyway, I'm going to be 25 on Tuesday. I feel this is quite a significant age. I'll no longer be in my early twenties, and I can probably no longer avoid calling myself a woman, as opposed to a girl. I can't say I'm particularly happy about my continued aging, but as the alternative is being dead (or preserving my youth through ghoulish HP Lovecraft-style experiments involving ice and so forth), I suppose I shouldn't be too disappointed at it.

The thing is, 25 seems incredibly grown-up to me, and I am by no means grown-up. I own the She-Ra movie, for God's sake. And I still have My Little Ponies, although Pip bought them for me, so that probably is okay. I remember David turning 25, when I was a whimsical 22, and I remember thinking how sussed he was. I'm so not sussed.

So here are some things I'm going to do to bring myself to that level of sussed-ness I feel a 25-year-old should be at:

Discover my body
Exercise is something I tend to do accidentally, if at all, and I would like this to change. I want to have more energy and less fat on my thighs. 

Get confident, stupid!
I'm planning to discuss coming off the antidepressants with my doctor. This time I'd like to stay off them. I accept that my depression is biological and will probably come back, but I want to be a position to tackle it next time. I've been reading some books on self-esteem and anxiety and I think it's probably time I put what I've been reading into practice.

Beat the boss
(Not literally. Although sometimes she deserves it.) I don't want to be at the Institute this time next year. I want a job where I care about what I'm doing, and I earn enough money to enjoy myself when I'm not at work. I took this job for all the wrong reasons and I don't plan to do that again.

Eye of the tiger, baby
I'm going to get what I want, dammit, and what I want is to be a published author. I'm going to try to stop beating myself up about my writing/lack of etc... and just freaking write. Talia Gryphon got published, Sunny got published, I can get published.

Comments

[i-am-toast.livejournal.com]

All very sensible and sound aims. I would also say given the quality and output of your writing, at least #4 is most certainly achievable.

By the way, would you like to grab a coffee/neat industrial alcohol at some point? I believe I've met you previously but given we live so near it seems silly not to associate off the web, as it were.

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Industrial alcohol sounds good. I'm trying to gather people for a birthday drink next Saturday - maybe you'd like to come along? Bring friends!

Happy Early birthday!

[dracschick.livejournal.com]

I actually liked my 30s the best. I'm almost 40 and sad to see them go.

good luck with your publishing efforts!

Re: Happy Early birthday!

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

I'm less daunted by 30 than 25 for some reason, lol.

Re: Happy Early birthday!

[six-old-cars.livejournal.com]

Well according to some comedy character (not Alan B'stard, I don't think, but the same actor) in a quote that appeared as the intro to a song by some band (good grief my memory is pathetic today) 25 is when your body gives up, waves its little white flag, and suddenly....

Which is all rubbish, of course. Being 25 is great. It's a good age. You're still young, but you don't have to behave young any more if you don't want to.

Re: Happy Early birthday!

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

That's good, because I probably won't behave any differently at all.

[yume-kokoro.livejournal.com]

Oh. God.
I'm turning 30 this year - and from your oh so excellent list - I totally LOSE at life.

haha.

In other news:

I hada thought to make a "Friends" page on my website - where I would like post short bios and links to the homepages of a handful my writer friends. What say you?

(Reply to this)

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

I say ye!

[yume-kokoro.livejournal.com]

Most excellent! Do you have any preference for what goes there - or shall I just write something up.

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Not at all, I shall trust your judgement :)

[madlee276.livejournal.com]

I was feeling similarly down about 24...but the way I see it is, I'm one of the few people I know who wants a proper career and that makes me more sussed than all my mortgage'd, brat-producing mates. And yay for exercise! A really good workout makes you feel like you can conquer the world.

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Exactly! Down with mortgages and brats, I say!

[leatherzebra.livejournal.com]

I'm loving adulthood because I finally feel like I have a measure of control in my life. And writing has been so good for my confidence because you can't depend on anyone else to do it for you. You have to do it, evaluate it, be honest with yourself and make it better. Seeings as I like a lot of my stories that's been translating into more self confidence. For the first time in my life I feel I'm worth something to myself, rather that continuing to subject myself to other people's expectations of me. And I'm 28 with a 7 year old and a 4 year old. I still don't feel like a grown up :P

[leatherzebra.livejournal.com]

Oh, and glorious birthday to you, my wonderful, beautiful online friend :D

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

:) Thank you!

[pubd2b.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday to youuuuu
Happy Birthday to Yoouuuuuu
happy birthday to youuuuuuuuu
Happy Birthday to you !

What? Tuesday???? well hell. OKay I will do it gain then.
*smile*
of course you can get published!! ahem. I did.

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Lol, thank you m'dear