Anti-Nano Excerpt Day
Nov. 17th, 2010 01:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
naomi_jay
I’m sure Deke’s stew was wonderful, but I couldn’t drum up any excitement about it. Restless and itchy, I left the kitchen and went outside. I leaned against the front door and watched the wispy white clouds drift by overhead. Did Effie’s deva resent being locked away in a tangle of electronics, when it should be soaring free through those clouds? I wasn’t normally romantic about the creatures, but it was impossible to think of Effie without thinking of a bird in a cage. And birds in cages always made me sad. Effie’s assurances that she was perfectly fine didn’t do much for me – it was still wrong. The whole set-up was, as Van said, just wrong.
I pressed my fingertips to my temples, feeling nauseous. A headache brewed right behind my eyes, sharp and hot. The sun was too bright, and when I closed my eyes purple and green lights flashed. The world dipped and swayed around me, and I had a horrible, hunted feeling as if something watched me, gripped by sudden weakness, and waited to see what happened next.
My recent dreams, nebulous monsters and shadowy chases, hit me hard, turning my headache into a raging migraine in a flash. I moaned, bile rising in my throat and panic gripping my heart. I was blinded, afraid to open my eyes but afraid to stay in the dark while that creeping sensation of being spied on held me. For a second I swore I heard something whispering close by, a reptilian hiss of a voice calling my name. Ryan... Ryan...
I staggered away from the door, groping my way along the wall of the house, tight-chested and a little scared. Where the hell had this come from? How did I make it stop? I tried to cry out but my voice stuck in my throat. The pain in my head spread like wildfire through my whole body, making my ribs ache and my knees shake. I grabbed something – the car hood, I realised – just before my legs gave out. I half-fell, half-sat down, clinging to Deke’s death mobile as hard as I could with my trembling fingers. Waves of ice and fire washed over me and that sinister whisper grew louder, until I knew if I opened my eyes I’d see my dream monster. With a whimper and a sob, I squeezed my eyes even tighter shut. I didn’t want to see. I didn’t know how to cope with what I’d see.
I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to see. Blue and gold joined the purple and green flashes, like a firework display going off inside my head. I rested my forehead against the car’s wheel and vomited noisily enough to drown out the whispering. Slowly, the pain eased up and I relaxed, all the tight tension flowing away. My head cleared and the flashing stopped, as if I’d purged more than just my stomach.
I opened my eyes, blinking against the rush of daylight, and was relieved to see the world looked normal. No monsters, just that same ginger cat scrutinising from under the hollyhock. I sat there for a moment, still gripping the car in case I had another spell, waiting for the nasty taste in my mouth to fade. When I was sure I could stand without falling over, I did so, pushing myself up with a grunt of effort. My head rang and my eyes watered, but it was nothing compared to the blind panic I’d felt just moments ago. I took a few deep breaths, shuddered once, and went back inside to find the bathroom.
I passed Van in the hall. Obviously I looked as crappy as I felt because he stopped and did a double take. ‘Ryan? You okay?’
I didn’t want to talk about it, not until I knew what “it” actually was. ‘Just tired,’ I said, heading for the stairs.
‘I thought I’d book us into a bed and breakfast for the night,’ he said, shoving his hands in his pockets and staring at the pale carpet, like a shame-faced schoolboy. ‘You know. Just... You know.’ He shrugged.
I didn’t fancy sleeping here much, that was for sure. And this was clearly a peace offering so I’d be churlish to disagree. ‘Sounds good,’ I told him. ‘A night in a real bed sounds like heaven.’ He looked up then, surprise plain on his face. I ventured a smile. ‘I suppose I’m not cut out for this adventuring lark, really.’
‘You’re doing fine,’ he assured me with a smile. A real, old Van smile that made my skin tingle and my breath catch. ‘You don’t look so good though. Are you sure you’re okay?’
‘I had a –‘ An episode? A panic attack? A swoon? God, How very Victorian of me. I wet my lips, discounting one throw-away explanation after another, knowing he wouldn’t believe any of them. ‘I don’t know,’ I said finally. ‘Something happened outside. I had this dizzy spell, I thought... I threw up on Deke’s car,’ I finished, more than a little ashamed.
He snorted and waved his hand dismissively. ‘You’re probably not the first.’ He came up the stairs, concern on his face. ‘But you were sick? Are you okay now?’ He pulled off a glove and pressed his flesh hand to my forehead. ‘You do feel kinda hot. Do you think you need to see a doctor?’
I shook my head. ‘I just need to brush my teeth and eat something, I think.’ Now that my stomach was empty and the nausea had passed, Deke’s brown fish stew was suddenly a lot more exciting.
Van helped me upstairs. I tried to shrug him off, insistent I could manage fine, but he overruled me with a stern growl. And truth be told, his warm – human – hand at the small of my back was comforting. Something familiar to cling to. God, I had some issues.
Up in the sunny yellow bathroom, I splashed water on my face and chewed on some foul-tasting smoker’s toothpaste, grimacing at myself in the mirror as I did. I was pale, eyes bloodshot, but otherwise I looked fairly healthy. Van hovered behind me in the doorway, fidgeting with agitation. I could practically feel his need to make a fuss, insist on taking care of me, and I had to smile. ‘I’m fine,’ I told him again. ‘Really.’
He frowned. ‘You’ve been the fainting type, Ryan,’ he told me.
‘Never was,’ I corrected. ‘I might have turned into a delicate princess who faints at the sight of spiders, for all you know.’
‘I doubt it.’ He stepped forwards, then back. Maybe he, like me, was remembering the last time we were alone in a bathroom. Not that it felt particularly private, with the constant drone and buzz of Effie’s computers just next door. ‘Well, if you want me to fetch you anything – painkillers, you know, just say.’
I nodded. ‘Thanks.’
‘And if you want to talk about what happened,’ he continued, voice sharpening unexpectedly, ‘just say.’
I turned, unsettled by his tone. ‘What do you mean?’
He shrugged as he left. ‘You know what I mean.’
I turned back to the mirror, frowning at my reflection. Did I know what he meant? Did he know about my nightmares, or had he seen something outside that I hadn’t? The sense of being watched pricked at me, but it wasn’t real, just my body remembering. Hell, had it been Van watching me? No, no. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t just stand there and watch me stagger around puking without doing anything.
I dragged my fingers through my knotted hair, worrying at the problem. The facts were few: since Jarrett kidnapped me, I’d been having nightmares about being chased by something monstrous and shadowy. A good – or even a bad – psychiatrist would translate that straight into shock or PSTD or whatever. Also, since Jarrett kidnapped me, I’d been using my deva’s power for the first time in six years. Given my antipathy to the being sharing my body, that could explain the dreams too. Maybe even the fainting spell outside.
Except I was so sure I’d heard something call my name out there, and I couldn’t rationalise that away. My deva had never communicated with me. Our symbiotic relationship was silent, always had been. It was pretty unlikely it would suddenly start talking after all these years, right?
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no subject
on 2010-11-17 02:13 pm (UTC)Anyway! I finally have an excerpt. Better late than never?
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on 2010-11-17 02:42 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-17 02:42 pm (UTC)What is diva though? I get that it's some sort of symbiotic creature, but what?
Now I get your Ryan question. I did think Ryan was a guy. It wasn't until your post the other day that I realized she wasn't. But, I haven't read this from the beginning where I probably would have found out the information.
no subject
on 2010-11-17 02:44 pm (UTC)I'm hoping some people will volunteer to beta read this when it's done to put the Ryan question to bed! I think it's clear in the first page, but you know, I wrote it, so of course it's obvious to me!
no subject
on 2010-11-17 03:47 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-17 07:54 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-18 12:20 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-18 09:10 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-18 04:51 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-17 03:46 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-17 09:14 pm (UTC)manwoman. No, seriously.Context provided within.
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on 2010-11-17 09:55 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-18 12:17 am (UTC)Snippets with context!!
Please read it! I know it's super short, but I hope I'm a pretty decent writer.
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on 2010-11-18 11:50 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-18 04:54 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-18 04:55 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-18 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-18 05:18 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-18 09:49 am (UTC)And now, because my internal clock is screwed to hell and I still think I'm living in Tuesday, I offer my very late exerpt.
http://acidamoeba.livejournal.com/34482.html - many apologies for tardiness.
no subject
on 2010-11-18 06:11 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-11-18 07:29 pm (UTC)