Holding Out For An Anti-Hero

"An anti-hero in fictional works will typically take a leading role, performing acts which might be deemed "heroic" (at least in scale and daring), but by using methods, manners, or intentions that may not be so--they could even be considered underhanded or deceitful.

The word itself is a fairly recent invention, and its primary meaning has changed throughout the years. The 1940 edition of Merriam-Webster New International Dictionary listed the word but did not give a definition. Later sources would call the anti-hero a persona characterized by a lack of "traditional" heroic qualities."

(from Wikipedia)

I've noticed a trend in fiction - paranormal romance, urban fantasy, standard romance, wherever - to describe male leads as "anti-heroes." I'm intrigued by the darker side of human nature, so I usually jump in eager to read about these flawed protagonists following their own moral compass and using underhand methods to achieve their goals. What I usually get instead is brooding, exotically handsome stallions who have mistreated every woman they've ever met until they meet the heroine. Once he's got his leg over with her, he's usually cured and all his angst is channelled into giving her multiple orgasms.

I call foul on that! That's not an anti-hero. That's fantasy wish-fulfillment, which is fine, but these hunky alpha males bare no resemblance to the likes of Frank Castle or Venom (my personal anti-hero pin-up.) They're watered-down, socially acceptable versions, in the same way I think a lot of werewolves and vampires have been watered-down. They're a dying breed, my friends.

Of course we can say that such men can be redeemed (by the love of the right woman, natch) through the course of the story and that often that's the whole point of his story-arc. I agree, but the minute such characters are redeemed, they're no longer anti-heroes anyway.

So what's the deal? Why aren't anti-heroes anti-heroes anymore? Is it because we as readers can't accept them as male/romantic leads? Or has our definition of the term changed, as these things are wont to do? Would you be happy reading a book where the male lead was deceitful, cruel or cowardly?