Undead, yes! Unuseful, no!
Sep. 4th, 2007 11:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
naomi_jayI like to think I educate as well as entertain, and this week I'm turning my keen scientific mind to the problem of the undead. They have their place in a well organised universe. The question is, what is that place? What are they good for?
Zombies: Traditionally associated with Haitian voodoo and cult horror films. Best known for staggering around slowly, drooling, rotting and demanding your brains.
Advantages: Can be persuaded to do basic menial tasks. They love you for your mind.
Disadvantages: Prone to rotting and devouring your brain. Probably difficult to keep clean.
Vampires: Traditionally associated with Eastern European folklore, fancy dinner suits and demanding your blood.
Advantages: They're eternally young and beautiful. Unless they were old and haggard when they became vampires. They might be Kain from the Legacy of Kain series.
Disadvantages: They drink your blood. They probably won't want to do the kind of menial chores zombies (I assume) excel at.
Ghouls: Traditionally associated with Arabic folklore, unwary desert travellers and eating the flesh of the dead.
Advantages: They sound pretty easily entertained. They're the middle ground between zombies and vampires - they can think for themselves, but they won't swan around pointing out how declasse your dressing gown is.
Disadvantages Creatures that feast on human flesh are probably not child-friendly.
Night Gaunts: Traditionally known for pestering HP Lovecraft.
Advantages: My "extensive" research in night gaunts revealed very little except a possible propensity for hanging upside down in dark corners. So I guess they're easily stored.
Disadvantages: May be in league with Cthulhu.
Zombies: Traditionally associated with Haitian voodoo and cult horror films. Best known for staggering around slowly, drooling, rotting and demanding your brains.
Advantages: Can be persuaded to do basic menial tasks. They love you for your mind.
Disadvantages: Prone to rotting and devouring your brain. Probably difficult to keep clean.
Vampires: Traditionally associated with Eastern European folklore, fancy dinner suits and demanding your blood.
Advantages: They're eternally young and beautiful. Unless they were old and haggard when they became vampires. They might be Kain from the Legacy of Kain series.
Disadvantages: They drink your blood. They probably won't want to do the kind of menial chores zombies (I assume) excel at.
Ghouls: Traditionally associated with Arabic folklore, unwary desert travellers and eating the flesh of the dead.
Advantages: They sound pretty easily entertained. They're the middle ground between zombies and vampires - they can think for themselves, but they won't swan around pointing out how declasse your dressing gown is.
Disadvantages Creatures that feast on human flesh are probably not child-friendly.
Night Gaunts: Traditionally known for pestering HP Lovecraft.
Advantages: My "extensive" research in night gaunts revealed very little except a possible propensity for hanging upside down in dark corners. So I guess they're easily stored.
Disadvantages: May be in league with Cthulhu.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2007-09-04 09:04 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2007-09-05 09:06 am (UTC)no subject
on 2007-09-05 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
on 2007-09-05 09:06 am (UTC)no subject
on 2007-09-05 12:48 am (UTC)no subject
on 2007-09-05 09:06 am (UTC)