Things about Urban Fantasy that Irritate Me

[naomi_jay]

Since I've been mildly irritated ever since the hobo stole my Malibu, I may as well unburden myself here and get it out of system. And, caveat - of course I love urban fantasy. It's my genre, what I write, what I read, what I adore. So this is all light-hearted. So:

1. Men's names that are short-hand for "I'm a dark and sexy mysterious type with possible angst." - There are an awful lot of Dantes*, particularly. LKH is guilty of bringing us Wicked, Truth, and London, amongst others.

2. Spelling words with "i" instead of "y" to indicate Mysticism - actually this is true of swords and sorcery fantasy too, but every time I see "wyne" instead of "wine" or "myst" instead of "mist", or indeed "vampyre" instead of "vampire" I die a little inside.

3. Women's names that are deliberately spelled exoticly as short-hand for "I'm a free-spirited kook but I'm not above being a total bitch but nobody will hold it against me". I'm looking at you, Zoey Redbird.

4. Monsters that are just people with fangs. Come on, people! Let's see someone get their throat ripped out! Is it so much to ask that just one vampire isn't saved by the Power of Love?

*And I myself am guilty of this as I have a Durante in Death for the Born, which is of course where the nickname Dante comes from. And yes, he certainly is a dark and sexy mysterious type with possible angst.

Comments

[jongibbs.livejournal.com]

Good points all, though to be fair, however you spelled it, a vampire called Gladys Ecklethwaite doesn't exactly call up the dark sexy image, so perhaps there's more to the name thing than just a moment of wilful dyslexia :)

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

True, but a vampire called Lazarus Von Blood is clearly a pretentious poseur! I guess it's a fine line between sexy and ludicrous.

[jongibbs.livejournal.com]

Fair point, I'll scratch that one from my potential character list :(

How about Lazarus Von Ecklethwaite? ;)

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Now that has potential! :)

[dwg.livejournal.com]

#1 Yeah, I got a Dante too, but he was Italian and from a time when the name was popular. I'm also guilty of having names like Harlequin, Nemesis, Wraith, Belladonna, Vermillion and Feral, but in my defence a lot of these are aliases or nicknames because the real ones have either been forgotten or they're kept closely under wraps. Names are important and superstitious things. I'm also guilty of abbreviating them down to seem slightly more normal, because Izzy isn't taken seriously as is and if he went poncing about yelling that he's Israfil, Herald of the Great Apocalypse, he'd get locked up even more often and nobody (least of all the prince of hell) wants that.

#2 is an epic pet peeve of mine, not just with using a Y but any "unique" spellings and Random Caps to denote that this is Important. Lookit, I get that your character might be a psychic, and they'd sometimes do hoodoo which means they could use a second sight but jesus, stop calling it The Syte or what-the-fuck-ever.

On the flipside, my vendetta against 'vamps' knows no bounds and I'm starting to get my hate on for people calling werewolves/lions/whatevers 'weres' too. I read that as a plural of were and when you think about it, IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE AS AN ABBREVIATION. I might get it if it's shortened to "wer" because that's where part of the word werewolf comes from, but at the same time you might as well just start calling all your werewolves "man" if you're going to refer to them as wer. As much as I dislike the whole Lycan thing from the Underworld series, I can at least understand why saying Lycan is so much easier than lycanthrope all the time. Still, it can't be that hard to come up with a slang term for your beasties, yes?

And while I'm at it, I'm looking at you Talia Gryphon for giving us the stupid that is Paramortal. Complete with the Random Capitalisation. You get a point for trying to be different, but HO SHIT POINTS OFF for dumb.

I miss #4. More bad guys need to be actually bad. :( Maybe I have different standards, because my protagonists tend to be psychos with awkward social skills.

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

I'm two chapters into the first of a new UF series at the moment, and the proper nouns are painful. Humans are just "humans" or "norms" but everyone else is a Were (yup, that abbreviation again), a Vamp, a Light Elf, a Dark Elf, or a Doppler. It's already driving me mad.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

:( random! Caps are becoming the new comma abuse.

[shistavanenjedi.livejournal.com]

As a reader, I find that the same names for characters (Nick for example) crops up quite often between different authors. It can't be that hard to come up with a name other authors haven't used before, can it? Another thing which bugs me is why there always has to be a master vampire in control of a city, or werewolves er creatures that own or run a bar, pub, cafe, etc. It crops up too much. Because of this, I wonder if urban fantasy is too small a genre.

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

I've noticed a lot of Delilahs lately too - I think there must be cyclical trends with names. At one point I remember reading about three UF novels in a row with Joannes/Joannas as heroines.

[etaknosnhoj.livejournal.com]

Ooh, yes on all fronts!

Quit with the stupid spelling (JR Ward, I'hm lhookhing aht yhou). and if you're going to have a stupid name, could the other characters at least realise it's stupid?

I like me some mad psychopathic monsters. Write them all the time. But strangely, people don't seem to want romantic heroes who eat people.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I want romantic heroes that eat people! I've got a ridiculously self-indulgent romantical crap document that I get to write all manner of fluff along those lines. Just because a hero happens to eat people (and his boyfriend snacks on small animals), doesn't mean that he's incapable of being thoughtful enough to make breakfast and give foot rubs.

Oh god, I'd love it if someone pointed out that stupid hero/heroine names are stupid. I have enough fun right now pointing out that the above mentioned names are ridiculous and letting characters sputter and try to justify themselves.

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Have you come across Pamela Palmer's new Feral Warriors series? Sounds a bit like BDB-lite - all the men are called things like Vhypher and Paenther and Lyon. *shudders*

[faerylite.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, yes. I haven't read them but they do sound a bit hard to take.

[faerylite.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes. Foolish spelling and Random Capitalisation To Show How Weird Something Is are top of my peeve list. I mean, who calls their kid Wrath or Daemon or Terror? More to the point, who'd go through life with a name like that and not change it? And why do the other characters never laugh?

{slinks under the table} I'm guilty of a vampire named Dante :D But in my defence: 1) he's actually Italian; and 2) he never broods and feels no angst whatsoever. He just eats people.

While we're poking fun at ourselves ;) I find it annoying when instead of inventing their own bad-ass and *showing* us how bad-ass he is, authors steal a ready made bad-ass from mythology so they can *tell* us how bad-ass he is without having to do any work. Like, 'I know! I'll call my angel Gabriel! And he's the *real* one! Ha! Readers will never see that coming!'

LOL @ 'Paramortal'! Like, she knows that doesn't actually mean anything, doesn't she?

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

I'm so tired of seeing Dracula appear as a character in other people's novels! Surely we can come up with our own ultimate master of darkness without stealing Bram Stoker's?

[etaknosnhoj.livejournal.com]

And why are bad-ass vampires (they're nearly always vampires) not really bad-ass, but just a little bit gay? Big boots, skintight leather pants, little leather waistcoat without anything underneath, long hair. I'm supposed to believe this guy is interested in women? Yeah. And scary? Um. I believe he could advise me on how to keep my hair tangle-free, but not that he's ever given anyone more than a girlie slap on the face.

I haven't read the Pamela Palmer series, but those names aren't selling me on it...

[faerylite.livejournal.com]

LOL! This is so true. I love it! For this reason, the heroes in my stories are never totally straight. I just can't make it happen with guys that look like this. And who could live for hundreds of years without at least giving it a try? :)

[lbickle.livejournal.com]

Good point...there are a lot of very manly weres out there, but not so many manly vamps.

[(Anonymous)]

You've made some good points. Does this challenge you to do something different? I never planned to write UF, but keep coming up with ideas, so I'm there. :-)

~Tyhitia
http://obfuscationofreality.blogspot.com/

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Hey you! :)

It's a tough one. Obviously every genre has it's own conventions and tropes, and I think these are important to recognise. But you know how it goess... You need to know the rules before you can break them. I love UF, even the bits that irritate me, lol.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm all for more monstrosity...more ripping out of throats! As a reader, I love to feel a thrill of doubt about whether a monster is gonna be...you know...a *monster* and do something more terrible than display bad table manners! :-)

[lbickle.livejournal.com]

Sorry for the anonymous post above on the monstrosity stuff...darn it...thought I was logged in! Should go find more caffeine now before I attempt to do anything more technologically-complicated than starting the dishwasher.