I had this dream last night...

[naomi_jay]

... It wasn't as good as the dream the other night where I had a farm in the country and kept chickens, but in it I was talking to someone about my writing career and I said to them, "Until I've been published traditionally and seen my book in a bookshop, I won't feel like I've succeeded as a writer."

And I woke up and was like, holy crap, that's true.

And now I'm confused.

Six months into the self-publishing experiment, I'm no clearer than I was back in January as to how I feel about it. I've had a good month this month, but I'm not actually making any money yet. Reading around, it's easy to find success stories from self-published authors. It's the ones doing well who are talking the loudest, which is fair enough, but I think it creates this false illusion that self-publishing is easy, financially rewarding, and creatively satisfying.

I'm not sure if that's true for me. I don't like structure, but I need it to function with any degree of efficiency. The structure, say, that's provided by working to deadlines with editors and cover artists. Left to my own devices, I become incredibly unfocused, I start too many projects and finish none of them, and then I feel bad about myself and decide I'm doomed.

So I've made a decision. WILD is staying where it is until the end of the year at least. That gives it six months in the indie market. It had a good first month and hopefully word of mouth will kick in. I tried getting WILD published traditionally and there were no takers, so I don't see any harm in keeping it out there. People are buying it, hopefully they will also read it and have an opinion on it. I'll also self-publish the two sequels.

The short stories (UNGRATEFUL DEAD, PAINLESS, THE BARKING OF DOGS) will stay where they are. I honestly don't care if I turn a profit from those or not; it's just supposed to be a nice, risk-free, low-cost way for people to find my work and maybe buy more if they like the short stories.

So, that leaves  NIGHT AND CHAOS. I'm in two minds about this. I love this story and I love the plans I have for the rest of it. But it hasn't really taken off. I can speculate as to why, but there's no way to be sure. So my two thoughts are either:

A) Take it off Amazon, rework it a little, and submit it as it is to epublishers. Carina accept previously self-published titles; I'm sure Damnation Books and Eternal Press do as well, and I think it would be a good fit for any of them.

or

B) Take it down, work it into a full-length novel and submit it around then. Agents, epubs, small presses... Wherever. I'd love to have some titles with Imajinn Books (this has been a secret dream of mine for years, ever since I discovered Keri Arthur and Lilith Saintcrow's titles there). I actually originally submitted AFTERLIFE to them, but they were in the process of moving offices at the time and I would have had to wait a year before I heard anything back, so decided to try elsewhere.

I'm leaning towards B. I don't think I'll get round to it this year, but I do think a full-length novel is what I want. I can work in what I've already written of Blood and Bones fairly easily, and frankly the more I think about it, the more I want to rewrite the end of NIGHT AND CHAOS anyway.

I'm going to reassess at the end of June (ooh, four whole days!), but I'm 90% certain I'll go with Plan B. Hopefully the good reviews NIGHT AND CHAOS has already had would impress/interest a publisher. So we'll see. I need to update my to-do list again now...

Comments

[micheleis.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel. It's the same for me. Self publishing is just interesting enough to make it worth the effort, but I don't see the draw of self publishing everything I've got. I still want to hit the big presses, not just because of the added distribution, but because of the allies it brings, namely an agent and editor. The goal is to have a career, but still have a life, so, you know, I can enjoy said career.

[blythe025.livejournal.com]

I certainly know the feeling of wanting to be traditionally published in print. There's something so reassuring with walking into a bookstore and holding that book in your hands.

So, I say go with your gut on it, with what feels right. It's seems like gut-wise you know what you really want to do with Night and Chaos, but you're still mentally working it out.

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Yep. I'm certain that self-publishing is right for authors who can be entrepreneurial, and for those who hit the right spot in the market, but I'm not business-minded. I'd rather have someone else take care of that side of things for me!

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it takes me a while for my common sense and brain to get in synch, lol.

[spiderling.livejournal.com]

Traditional print is my dream too! I don't know WHY I never count the comic books as 'traditional print' even though both Avigon and DMD where in bookstores... But I worry a lot that I won't ever get the agent/publisher and if that happens I hope to make Amazon a viable fall back.

And I will say that when I read Afterlife I kept wondering why it wasn't published by like Daw or something. The only thing I could think was that it wasn't long enough...

[naomi-jay.livejournal.com]

Juno/Pocket were interested in it at one stage, but they didn't get in touch with me saying so until after I'd given up waiting and signed with Damnation Books. Sigh. I do regret that a little... they might not have bought it, but I would love to have known!

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