How To Become A Werewolf

C’mon, you know you wanna know.

 

Essentially there are two paths to lycanthropy: voluntary and involuntary. The Ancient Greeks believed any skilled sorcerer could become a werewolf, and Norse legends tell tales of men donning wolf skins to take that form. Some magical texts advise preparing a magical ointment to rub over bare skin before covering yourself with a wolf pelt.

 

Or you could take the old-fashioned route and make a deal with the Devil. That’s kind of a messy method however, since it apparently involves smearing yourself with the fat of a freshly killed animal, mixed with anise, camphor and opium. As you may or may not know, it’s hard to legally obtain opium. Might raise some eyebrows. You’re probably better off drinking rainwater from a wolf’s paw print. Although that would probably involve a lot of hanging around the in woods getting wet. Still, at least that method’s legal.

 

As for the involuntary ways, the most obvious is to survive a werewolf attack. That works pretty well in films like Ginger Snaps and An American Werewolf in London. That is, if you ignore that both those films end tragically…

 

Or you could piss off the wrong sorcerer and inherit your lycanthropy via a curse. Even better, you could piss off the Christian Church and be born on Christmas Day. As a punishment for detracting attention from Jesus, you’re cursed to be a werewolf – unless you can prove yourself pious and without sin. And lets face it, there’s fat chance of that if you’re slaughtering lambs and goats every full moon.