Proper Care and Feeding of Your Mary Sue

 

1. Your Mary Sue has a very fragile ego. It is important that you constantly reassure her that she’s the cleverest, strongest, fastest, sexiest, most unique Mary Sue there is, or she may begin to suffer a persecution complex.

 

2. Your Mary Sue knows better than you. Don’t insult her superior intelligence by questioning her logic.

 

3. Your Mary Sue knows what’s best for you. Don’t offend her enormous sense of compassion by questioning her decisions.

 

4. Your Mary Sue will only grow in power and strength as your relationship progresses. It’s critical that you unreservedly support her levelling up in order to maintain a healthy friendship with her.

 

5. Others may envy your Mary Sue’s natural superiority to them. Be ready to defend her against unjustified attacks, both verbal and physical. Not that she needs your protection.

 

6. Your Mary Sue’s abundant charisma is bound to make her the centre of attention when you go out together. Be sure to keep a low profile so as not to distract from her enhanced social graces.

 

1. Your Mary Sue’s irresistible feminine sexuality will inevitably attract masses of male attention. Don’t get jealous – it’s not her fault your boyfriend dumped you for her.

For more information on your Mary Sue, check out the Mary Sue Litmus Test